Archive for April, 2015

Close Your Eyes, Concentrate.

Karen High Club reliably informs me that Robbie Williams is struggling with agoraphobia and is very interested in UFOs. I can’t help him with his first problem but I can tell him without any shadow of doubt that aliens don’t exist. Here’s how I know:

Klaatu were a Canadian band who wrote ‘Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft’. The Carpenters covered it in 1977. It had a 160 musicians on it. Nearly as many as Akom 1. The finished product is so good that, if there were aliens up in the sky, they would have come down to find out who was responsible for it. The fact that they didn’t is proof that they don’t exist.

So Robbie, stop searching for UFOs and spend your time trying to write a good song instead. I can help. Close your eyes, concentrate together, that’s the way.